Strangers

      So I've realised that I haven't written any posts about autism for a few months, which is strange as according to the title of this blog one third of posts should be about it. So here is one related to autism, and the issues of living with it.
      One of those issues is strangers. You see, once I know someone I come off as a confident prick, who obviously has some sort of problems but it seems more likely to be narcissistic personality disorder than Asperger's. But before I get to know someone I come off less as someone with stone cold wit and more just stoned. A combination of not responding and lack of eye contact gives many people the impression that I'm high. The hair probably doesn't help either. But for the most part I don't come into contact with people I don't know so it's not that much of a problem. But when I do the physical sensation is one of near panic. My heart rate shoots up, I lose focus and become so self aware that I often forget to respond. When I do respond I tend to murmle my words which never form anything longer than a sentence, while often relying more on head movements to convey meaning. Once the brief encounter ends I can usually hear my voice playing back in my head as I watch the confused person who had the misfortune to speak to me attempt to work out what I just said while wondering whether I am suitable person to ask advice from. After this I tend to resume staring into middle distance while thinking about the mysteries of the universe. Or shoelaces.
      After that barely structured drivel you have just read, I leave you with this: http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=474