Sunday, 12 June 2011

Height

      Those of you who don't know me in real life probably assume I am a 6'2" beauty with the face of the Greek god Adonis, washboard abs and pectorals that make even the most lesbian uteri consider switching sides. Those of you who know me will know that I am actually a 5'2" beauty with the face of the Greek god Adonis, washboard abs and pectorals that make even the most lesbian uteri consider switching sides.
      But my slightly shorter stature still somehow manages to be mentioned occasionally, despite the fact that I'm clearly brilliant in every other physical way. There is a large amount of difference in the treatment of short and tall men, perhaps mostly in the dating field where short men are often deemed less attractive. However, I have worked out a way to make sure my height never reduces my chances at getting a date: I have developed a personality so repulsive that it wouldn't matter if I were 30' tall, woman would still run screaming. Though to be honest that might just be because I'd be 30' tall, making me actually qualify for monster status.
      Another thing that is affected by height is income. The income gap between short and tall people is similar to the gap between genders. Perhaps that's the real reason that there is so much discrimination against women, they're shorter. Also, the taller candidate is more likely to become president.
      Despite all this there are some successful, attractive short men (excluding myself)  including Jamie Cullum, Michael J. Fox and Wolverine. Also, Danny de Vito, if you're into that sort of thing. Still, I might consider high heels.

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