Libraries

      Most of you won't be too surprised to find that I quite enjoy going to the library, as everyone thinks of me as learned. Sorry, I meant to write everyone thinks of me as Le Nerd. I don't go to libraries that much, but when I do I really go to the library, like full on librarying. But I feel the new tendency towards self check out instead of having a person has been a loss to our society. Let me give you a scenario: I go to the library and see there is a librarian dealing with check outs. I pick out three books along the lines of "Practical engineering for scuba divers", "Feline pedology through time: A pictorial history of cat's feet" and "1001 things to do with amputated limbs". These books are really only a distraction for the librarian though, with the hope they won't notice I'm also taking out "Labia: A love story". Even though I never really wanted the other books I'll be damned if I carry them home and don't read them. As a consequence I will then know all there is to know about scuba diving engineering, cat feet and what to do with my limbs should they be removed. Now let's re-imagine this tale with a self serve machine. I go in, see there is no librarian to judge my literary labial liking and then what? I take out "Labia: A love story", "Labia: The phallus's revenge", "Labia: The last stand" and "1001 more things to do with amputated limbs" (because the first one was so good). Now my mind will be perverted by the labialality of it all. Society crumbles.