English Autism

      During my time as an English aspie (which is, to be fair, my entire life) I have come to realise that the two afflictions, if you will, are actually very similar. So much so that I believe anyone with what we shall call "Classic" or (slightly less politically correctly) "Lower functioning" Englishness would almost certainly meet the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's. Let's take a look at that criteria:

1. Social difficulties. Anyone who can go a whole conversation and leave with neither of the parties knowing the name of the other because they didn't see an appropriate time to ask can hardly be described as socially competent. The English tradition of trying hard to get a sentence out and ending up with a series of urms and wells is very much in line with an aspergic attempting communication.
2.  Restricted and repetitive interests and behaviour: The amount the English talk about the weather is obsessive. Furthermore, any country which has the demand to support several bus meets and train gawps cannot really be healthy.
3. Speech and Language issues: Urm, er, well, see, the thing is, hmmph, that, in a way, a series of nonsensical sounds, so to speak, and meaningless statements, some might say, don't actually count as a proper sentence. If you catch my drift.
4. Other: Tea drinking has to be autistic in some way, right?

      So, there you have it, why Englishness is the same as autistic. I propose we create an English Spectrum Disorder right away.