Wooo. The power I've received in being able to write this is immense,
I could write absolutely anything. However, I don't fancy being in the
firing line of Algar so I'll try to make this post as sensible and
relevant as possible. I've decided to write an autistic rendition of
Alice in Wonderland..I have called "Algar in Wonderland" (Creative, I
know.)
Chapter 1 - Down in the Rabbit Hole
Algar was getting tired of sitting reading his Encyclopedia from the
1800's. He had tried reading his brother's book, but he found it very
frustrating as it had too many pictures and colourful things. Algar
liked factual, informative books. He decided to get up and go for a
walk around the garden that surrounded the manor where he and his
family lived. Just as he passed the rose bushes, Algar spotted a white
rabbit. 'What pests' he thought, as he recalled back to a Wikipedia
article he'd recently read about them. Just as he'd finished
processing his thoughts, the rabbit cried "I'm late! I'm late! For a
very important date!" The waistcoat-wearing long-eared bunny then
produced a large pocket watch from his jacket, and Algar marveled at
the sight of such an unusual happening. He decided to chase after the
rabbit, and was just in time to see it pop down a large, dark hole.
Algar decided he would spend his day investigating, and so he followed
the rabbit.
The rabbit had disappeared, and as Algar peered into the hole in the
ground, his foot slipped and he fell in. Down and down he fell,
passing objects such as calculators, maths books, leather jackets and
guitars. Not to mention the bottles of nail varnish he passed on his
rather fast tumble down this very deep hole. 'I must be near China by
now', he thought to himself. 'What if I fall into it? I can't cope
with that amount of people, I'll have an Autism! ' Down and down he
fell, doing maths equations to take his mind off the terrible things
which could happen to him, when suddenly he fell down to the ground
with a loud thump. Luckily for Algar, he skillfully landed on a large
pile of leaves, managing to avoid the unimaginable event of breaking a
finger nail. 'Excellent', he exclaimed in a huffy tone of voice. 'All
I wanted was to talk to that bloody rabbit, now I'm going to have to
chase it, great.' Regaining composure, he looked around him. A long
passage stretched ahead of him and the White Rabbit was hurrying down
it. Algar went after him like the wind. He had almost caught up with
the rabbit, counting his steps as he went, when the rabbit turned the
corner and vanished. Algar was in a long hall way, with doors down
both sides. Focused on the task at hand, he tried to open each one in
order of ascending size, but every single one of them was locked. Just
as he thought he might never get to talk to this rabbit, he saw a
glass table with a golden key on top. Algar walked down the hall once
more, this time counting his steps in order of chronological prime
numbers, but the key was too small for the doors. He then spotted a
tiny door, half-hidden by a curtain. Holding his breath, he tried the
golden key in the lock. It worked!
Beyond the door was the most beautiful garden Algar had even seen,
with number-shaped flowers and calculator stepping stones across a
river filled with hot, fresh tea. Algar tried to squeeze through the
door, but not even his head would fit. 'Oh bloody hell, who put this
door in?! What do they think I am, a miracle worker?!' He decided to
go back to the table. 'There'd better be another key, I've not come
this far to be outsmarted by a stupid rabbit, for god sakes'. But
instead of a key, he found a bottle with a label saying 'Drink me'.
'That wasn't here before' thought Algar, surprised at this fact, as
being Autistic, he usually noticed everything. However, never one to
refuse a drink, he took a sip. It tasted so delicious that he had soon
finished it off. 'What a mad, trippy feeling' Algar exclaimed. 'Oh
great, I think I'm getting smaller, that's perfect'. He was shrinking,
and soon, he was small enough to go into the garden. To his utter
disappointment, the garden door had closed and he'd managed to leave
the key on the golden table where it was out of his reach. 'What the
hell?', he said rather loudly, 'I've just purposefully made myself
even shorter than I already was, and now, I can't reach the god damn
key. This is typical.' He could see it glittering through the glass,
and so he tried to climb the table leg but it was far too slippery. 'I
can't stand this texture' he thought, and just before he started
having another Autism, he fell to the floor and began to cry. As he
counted to 10 and back to calm himself down, he noticed a glass box
under the table. The box held a brownie. 'I'll eat that' thought
Algar, 'it might have some extra special ingredients' , 'If I grow
larger, I can reach the key. If I grow smaller, I can creep under the
door. If it has drugs in it, I can just go home. Every way has a
logical outcome.'
Oh my god. What on earth will happen to Algar on his Wonderland
adventures? Part two will be same time next week. I think I quite like this blog
business.
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