story up from memory and the book I borrowed from the library having
to go back, this post is going to have to be the rest of the book,
very quickly. Four Chapters of Algar in Wonderland all in one average
length post, this is going to be interesting.
Algar knocks on the door of the house he has just arrived at where a
woman has just been given a piece of paper by a frog dressed in a
suit. He is curious about this, so he goes to talk to the frog. They
talk about lots of very strange things, which pleases Algar as he is
quite strange himself. The woman who has received the piece of paper
turns out to be the Duchess. He enters her house and the Duchesses
cook is throwing crockery about and making some soup, which is really
peppery. Algar, the Duchess and her baby all start to sneeze as the
pepper clouds the room. The Duchess hands Algar her baby, and is
rather shocked when it turns into a pig. 'You know what' he says
aloud, 'I'm not even going to ask. I'm sure stranger things have
happened to me today.'
He decides that he is too young to start thinking about having
children of his own, so he puts the pig down and runs off.
He goes outside, and the Cheshire Cat who is a gorgeous auburn colour
is sitting in a tree. The cat tells him to go to the March Hares
house, and to stop 'rabbiting' on. He goes on to make many more puns,
including 'Don't be 'hared' he's a very nice gentleman', and 'You'll
have a very 'bunny' time, I'm sure'. He then disappears, but his
smile is left behind. This leads Algar to ponder the fact that he has
seen a cat without a grin, but never a grin without a cat. Algar is
then a guest at the Mad Hatter's tea party, which he enjoys very much
being a great lover of cups of tea made by anyone who is not himself.
The Hatter is as his name suggests, completely mad. They go on to
discuss the differences between ravens and writing desks and sing many
a song, such as 'Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're
at, up above the world so high, like a tea tray in the sky'. There is
also a sleeping dormouse who Algar finds thoroughly uninteresting,
being so, well, asleep. The Hatter explains to Algar that the reason
they have tea all day is because time has punished him eternally by
standing still at 6pm. 'Time wouldn't be able to punish me in this
way, I never stop drinking tea' Algar told the Hatter.
He is soon bored of this, and runs off to the fabulous garden he is so
intrigued by where he finds 3 playing cards painting all the white
roses in the garden red. They tell him that the Queen can not stand
white roses.
Everyone else enters the garden and the Queen then challenges Algar to
a game of Croquet. They use live Flamingoes as mallets and hedgehogs
as balls. A serious case of animal cruelty if Algar had ever seen one,
he thought, but never uttered a word to the Queen as she kept shouting
'OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!' and although Algar was blunt, he was certainly
not stupid. The Queen orders that the Cheshire Cat be beheaded, but
she is told that this is impossible as her executor complains the Cat
only has a head. A clever cat, Algar had decided. As the Queen was
evidently very angry with the Cheshire Cat, the Duchess is released
from a prison where the Queen's guardsmen were keeping her. She rants
on about morals, then some other animals appear and join her in this
rant. Algar starts to get bored and tired of this, he decides that
although they all look weird, this is no weirder than what he
witnesses at school every day. There is then a trial over who should
have their heads cut off for stealing the Queen's jam tarts , but they
decide that no one should be executed today. 'I definitely think the
Queen should be executed, it's times like these when treason is
desperately required,' Algar thought to himself, although obviously
said nothing, as he felt certain that would put his life in danger. By
this point, he was progressively growing larger and larger.
Algar starts to get shouted at by the Queen and King, because during
the trial he knocked over the jury box, releasing all of the animals,
due to his size. It was chaos and Algar was getting very confused and
upset, as his autism did tend to cause him distress at times like
these. The Queen orders that he have his head cut off, but he
protests, calling them names..specifically 'A great big pack of
cards'. Not his best insult to date, he felt rather ashamed at the
lack of wit. Just as he starts to feel a wave of shame over his sudden
loss of ability to argue, he is awoken. He finds his brother standing
over him, and is relieved to find the whole day had been a dream.
Lucky Algar.
The End.
Wow, that was a lot longer and poorer quality than I wanted it to be,
never mind. It's Algar's blog, he shall have to fix the damage.
This is probably the last post I'll ever be allowed to do for him to
be honest, but I had a lovely time.
[Note from Algar: Yes Livvy, probably the last time you'll get to write on my blog. Possibly the last time I let you talk to me, too.]
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