The draw of philosophy

This is the third and final (probably) instalment of my series of posts exploring why I enjoy different fields. Except this one is different and perhaps misnamed as I don't enjoy philosophy. In fact, I'd be much happier if I never thought about it.
The problem isn't so much that philosophy confuses me, though it occasionally does, it's more that I've come to the realisation that the universe, existence, consciousness etc. doesn't actually make sense. The more I think about it the less reason I have to believe that the universe exists. The thing is, this actually affects me, it's not just a passing thought. I now spend probably about an hour a day considering philosophy and formulating ideas. One such idea that I'm currently working on is the theory of infinite abstract consciousness (catchy name huh?) which basically states that as human consciousness arises from certain processes then perhaps consciousness can arise in an abstract way in any process, no matter how bizarre or seemingly inanimate. An important thing to bare in mind is that the term consciousness used here does not indicate any emotions or thoughts exist in these arbitrary processes, rather that they are individual from other processes, in the same way your thoughts are separate from everyone else's and you exist in a first person type of way. Of course for more arbitrary processes, such as the tides or tying a shoelace, the individual experience they have is much more abstract. But the important thing is that they might experience the universe in some way. About an hour and a half ago I was thinking about this theory when I realised that this would indicate that there are as many different consciousnesses in the brain as there are processes. To illustrate how many that is, there are more neural pathways in the brain than atoms in the universe. Any combination of these pathways can be considered it's own process. Basically, that's a lot of consciousness. Most of these consciousnesses wouldn't have any senses or memory, so would be abstract and exist in a limited sense. However, a few of these processes would be capable of having meaningful consciousness. This would indicate that in each brain, including mine and yours, there are multiple conscious entities, not just one. So as you read this, other versions of you might also be reading it. It might not be that simple, but it's an interesting way of looking at it. It might be that different conscious entities control different parts of your character. All of these consciousnesses together form another process, which could be considered the more traditional consciousness. This theory is in its infancy, probably has already been thought of by others and almost certainly has massive holes in its logic.

So yeah, I hope that's cleared up why I dislike philosophy, seeing as it makes me think about these kinds of things all the time, as well as question my own existence. To be honest I just read through it and if it made anything clearer to you, well done. I barely understood what I was getting at.
But anyway, I'll see you next week. Not really, the internet doesn't work like that, but apparently I'm supposed to make you feel like this is more personalised and real, despite the fact we both know it isn't.