Halloween

As many of you are probably aware, it is Halloween. Except by the time you read this it won't be. But anyway, you might be expecting me to do a Halloween themed post. However, that is not possible as the popular image of the supernatural has been hijacked by an over-abundance of vampire fiction and I don't want to be connected with such things. Even if it was once a legitimate horror genre it is now filled with the most inane, whingy and altogether dull glitter boys out side of boy bands. So no, there shall be no paranormal japery on my blog tonight. Instead I will give some practical advice for future-proofing your life against a looming danger that could cause catastrophe at any moment.

I speak, of course, of a zombie apocalypse. Now, I can only really give a cursory explanation into the many types and dangers of zombies and how to deal with each as I am running short on time (it's 6 to midnight) so I'll try and cover some of the basics that you might not have learnt elsewhere. If you want something more in depth contact me, I'm always willing to talk zombie survival plans. Seriously.

1. Plan ahead. When buying a house, consider its distance from key scavenge points such as gun shops and malls, as well as how many windows you would need to barricade.
2. Be ever vigilant. If the zombie apocalypse began during your wedding, would you know what to do?

And last, but certainly not least:

AIM FOR THE HEAD

That's all I've got time for, bye.